mad scientists have hearts too.

loveless_warmth @ 2006-02-07T22:23:00

2006-02-07T21:18:40Z

i felt like moving.

aurabloemen
add me (again) if you like.
maybe i'll return to this one soon.
old love never fades.

finally disfunctional.

2006-01-04T13:49:16Z

yesterday i came home from the south of holland. my new years was somewhat strange and very intense. not only physically but also mentally. very worried about a friend of mine who i love dearly. she was always the wise one. but then having to drag her out of a bar, hyperventilating and in the middle of a panic attack is something i'll never forget. holding onto her and whispering words that might've been of some comfort. it took 45 minutes to calm her down, traffic was passing by, people were doing whatever drunk people do, life seemed so unimportant. i saw her grabbing the cold wall and i had to hold her so tightly to make sure she wouldn't fall. we stood outside, stumbling and shaking. after that, it was like nothing happened and we continued dancing. dance dance.
the following days we didn't really sleep, just walked around, sitting in some student-house-something doing nothing. useless and dark. the floor was disgusting, full of smokes, beer, peanuts and everything you can (or can't) imagine.
2005 was a nice year, full of new things. the best things were without a doubt going to Tampere, the Lowlands festival (and seeing nick cave there) and realizing how chaotic and without directions i am. every action has a reaction, know that all too well now.
anyway.
it's 2006 now.

loveless_warmth @ 2005-11-02T17:04:00

2005-11-02T16:06:24Z

loveless_warmth @ 2005-08-12T20:28:00

2005-08-12T18:32:35Z

Stainboy cartoons, by Tim Burton.

well well well, a public entry.

2005-07-31T17:02:34Z

It is not late, but darkness has sunk across the land like a curtain. When I think of the city it seems to me that I lived there in ignorance of the world, I don't know how I endured the confinement, the cruel uniformity of the walls, the apprehensive reserve of the buildings and the barrenness of the streets. I slept, and no dream consoled me, and when I woke, I was tired. Then I sat at my desk and it grew dark again, and the headlights of the cars glided up and down outside my window. – The nights always went very late. Sometimes the dawning began as I drove home. At first it was dark, and the headlights fell gleaming on the black asphalt. Then they faded slowly, the street grew light and the sheen of it dulled. The sky between the trees of the Tiergarten was filled with surges of grey; clouds, sack-like formations, shrouds and spear-heads moved through the ebbing darkness, the trunks gleamed silver, in the branches danced the waves of dawn.
I longed for the sight of the sun, which was rising now somewhere in splendor. But in the city you did not see it. A little red was in the sky, that was the east. All was still.
I stopped in front of the building where I live. A gentle breeze rushed down upon me and freshened my face. It was the morning wind. Soon it would be drowned by the noise of the city, smothered in its haste. I went into the building, took the elevator to the third floor, crossed the corridor and opened the door of my room. Hardly taking the time to remove my clothes, I sank down asleep.
Annemarie Schwarzenbach, Lyric Novella